What if the very thing you view as being the problem in your life is not the real problem? What if your perception is actually the problem? After all, happiness is something we choose. People who perceive happiness as being something outside of themselves, something that magically comes (or doesn’t come) to them, are likely not very happy. Of course, believing that happiness is something they have no control over does allow them to avoid the responsibility of choosing or not choosing their own happiness. For them, it is easier to be miserable and blame their misery on the misfortunes of their life. Why do some choose this?
The truth is the choice to be happy lies within all of us. Some of the happiest people on this planet live in underdeveloped countries and many people with little money in the bank die having lived very happy lives. How is it that one person chooses happiness and another chooses to be miserable and blame their bad luck? Does the one blaming and choosing misery read this and think, “Well, Anna Marie, you just don’t understand! It’s not my fault! So and so, did this to me, and my parents…, and I have all these bills... ,,, and I can’t seem to get ahead...blah...blah...blah”
I think we can all relate to the “blame game” to some extent, but how does one go from having moments in their life when they are down and feel defeated to being happy and thriving? Why would one rather choose to be lonely, place blame, and feel misery for the rest of their life verses choosing happiness?
The truth is I used to be the blamer. I used to be the miserable lady who saw the glass half empty. I couldn't understand why nothing worked out for me! Yuck! Looking back, I giggle in disbelief that I chose to feel and act on the premise that I was the victim in my own life. I was choosing to attract unhappy things into my life and then, when they unsurprisingly did, I’d meet them with, “Of course, this terrible thing happened to me!” and “Of course this unfortunate thing happened again!” These thoughts allowed me to play the “poor me” game that NOBODY really cared about but me! And, of course, that reality fed right into my pity party. Ain't nobody want to be invited to my pity party!
You’re hopefully reading this, thinking, “Do I choose happiness? Am I playing a victim?” Good for you! But If you are thinking, “You just have no idea how hard my life is...blah...blah...blah..” I would venture to guess that you, dear reader, are not owning your shit and are not choosing happiness.
It wasn’t until I started to look for the good in ALL things, to treat myself with positive thinking and love, and to practice healthy habits that my “victim” mentality and the “poor-me” mindset started to shift to a more pleasant, happier mindset. It was once I started to own the fact that my life was made up of the sum total of all my choices that I chose to this point! That included realizing that the people I chose to be around, the things in my home, the car I drove, the job I kept, the foods I ate, the thoughts I had, were all mine by choice, and when things came into my life, like the boss that was an ass, I still got to choose how I thought and felt about the situation, and most importantly, I got to choose how he made me feel… he didn’t get to choose that! Truth is we get to control how people make us feel. Yes, this can be a hard one to process, but we do get to choose!
Like the bumper to bumper accident you got into when you were in a hurry, you still get to choose how you respond to it. Like the crazy pandemic that we are all going through you still get to choose how you feel and think about it. Make the choices in your mind that empower your happiness. The only thing that can truly hurt you long term are your thoughts.
Know that in choosing happiness you WILL attract happiness. Enjoy the happy path of your life!
*Please note that in choosing happiness I am not discounting that their can be struggles and unfortunate times, but it is in the CHOOSING how you respond vs. react that your happiness lies. Let's all look for the good! Click here for the four levels of happiness!